When Leo and Raph were left alone
by littlefurryguy
Summary: LeoxRaph. Not graphic. Not fluffy either. Cowritten with ghostwriter. Chapter five finally up.
1. Chapter 1

Don't read if you are underage, if you can't stand male/male situations or if you think our turtles involving with each other is gruesome. You have been warned. Not really descriptive, but that's my opinion. We don't own the TMNT.

Written by **littlefurryguy **and **ghostwriter**, beta by **katt30**.

**000000**

Raph breathed deep, trying to block the unwelcome thoughts that buzzed in his mind. Defeated, he opened his eyes to face the reason of his torture. Leonardo, moving with his usual grace while perfecting one of the most difficult katas, every step smoothly linked with the next on a beautiful dance that set Raphael's nerves on edge.

Because Leo's eyes showed a raw passion he usually didn't display, and it burned Raphael to the bone.

There was no need to give more thinking to his bodily reactions; he already knew what was wrong with him. _Wrong_. Because there was no other word that could describe what he had started feeling for the elder turtle, even before they discovered the meaning of "sex-driven". _Wrong_. The reason why he choose to be so sexually active, why he kept going to unknown women trying to get rid of the desire that overruled him a few days every year.

The days where he preferred to stay out of their home, as distant as he could from temptation.

The days where he fantasized with Leonardo finding him before he could put his animal instincts under control.

For a week before and a week later he was edgy around Leo, but he transformed it into rude words and stronger brawls, freely given punches and dangerous sparring sessions that made him horny as hell. Raphael frequently wondered if his mind thought of it as a mating ritual, but was never curious enough to ask Donnie about it. There was no way he could approach the subject without his brainy brother finally figuring it out.

As for the rest of the year … well, those days his attraction was easily tamed, although he could not deny it was always present. He had long ago accepted the fact that nothing could be done to wane his lust, which made easier to find new ways to hide it; because Leonardo was always acting as the perfect brother, the sensitive son, the supportive leader that noticed when something bothered any member of his clan.

It is practically impossible to keep yourself in check when the one you desperately want to fuck senseless is constantly following you around, nagging and asking if there's something wrong.

_Wrong_ ... the fact that the fire should not be as strong as it currently was.

_Wrong_ ... the fact that Leonardo had not been himself lately, frequently loosing control for almost a month now.

_Wrong_ ... the fact that they were alone, and would have the lair for themselves for the rest of the night.

_Wrong_ ... the fact that his brother was waiting for him to join in on the practice.

As if reading his mind, Leonardo's pace slowed down as he ended the exercise.

"Aren't you going to warm up?" the blue-clad turtle asked while retrieving his bottle of water.

"I'm warm enough" was Raph's response. Oddly enough, the elder accepted it, motioning for him to move into the dojo.

"What do you want to do?"

_You really don't want to know_.

"Humoring the angry turtle, huh?"

That produced a small smirk from the subject addressed, and Raphael couldn't help but notice that Leo appeared to be using this chat time to recover his breath. How long had he been training?

"Not likely; but I heard you torturing the punching bag up in your room."

A blue towel removed sweat from face and arms, but the legs remained untouched. _Hold on_.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't want complaints on how I won because you were tired," Leo said and Raph snorted at this.

A series of stretching movements designed to loosen sore muscles, exposing more neck skin than usual. _Stay in control_.

"You wanna go directly to the spar session? What happened to the katas and such?"

Leonardo didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to move to the bench, where he left his twin katana.

"You are not in the mood. Something has been troubling you all day," he explained, motioning for his brother to reciprocate and remove the sais from his belt.

"So Fearless Leader decided he needed to go soft with me," the red-clad turtle pointed, but put the weapons aside nonetheless. _Keep your distance_.

"Nah. I decided you needed to get your ass thoughtfully kicked."

"Wha-?"

So much for trying to avoid contact, as Leonardo had dropped to a crouch and took Raphael down in one swift kick to the legs before retreating and falling into a defense stance, a smug smirk on his face.

"The only rule is, no other weapons than your own body. The loser has to admit defeat for the fight to end."

Fight, no spar. No rules, no forbidden movements. Raphael's blood boiled but there was no anger behind it. Everything seemed clearer, sharper, bolder; he had suddenly arrived to the highest point of his heat state, the hormones clouding any rational thought.

"You have no idea what you are getting into." It was more of an animalistic growl than his usual speech, but Leo showed no fear. Instead, it looked as if his smile grew bigger at this.

"Come and show me."

That made it.

Raphael lunged forward, but couldn't take his brother by surprise. It didn't matter; he was looking for a different approach. He assaulted and attacked once and again, all the time trying to use as little stamina as he could. It probably would not have worked with Leonardo's usual fighting style, but this was Raph's territory. The older turtle was constantly forced to delve into his energy reserves, already tired by his early exercises.

Punch after punch, kick after kick, Leonardo was slowly losing and they both knew it; still he didn't return to the efficient movements that Ninjitsu dictated, choosing to match his brother with sheer force. His mistake. But even as he was being clearly overpowered, no real damage had been done; it was as if Raphael's main objective was to exhaust him, which he was obviously achieving.

_What do you want to do?_

Touch you, taste you, take you.

Leonardo was drained although still not ready to admit defeat. He wanted to fight to the end, showing his brother the respect he felt towards him. It was not anger that kept him dodging the blows, it hasn't been anger to begin with. Yes, he had been losing his temper regularly on the recent days; but Raphael's odd demeanor distracted his mind from the irk that consumed his soul. He loved the hotheaded turtle, and would do anything to help him face his own demons.

He tripped.

One second he was evading a kick, the next one he was crushed onto the mat. Raphael's weight keeping him down, Raphael's hands gripping his own hands over his head, yet Leonardo didn't give up. There was something else going on, something he could not put into words. It told him this had not been their everyday fight, and that he would surrender more than his leader's pride by acknowledging his brother as the winner. Although these were his conditions, and he trusted the other turtle with his life, he somehow knew this decision would change their relationship.

He ceased his struggling.

What came next should had startled Leonardo, but didn't. It was as if part of him, his animal instinct perhaps, understood since the beginning what was going on. This same part prevented him from getting up and running away as fast as he could, even when Raphael's grasp relaxed a little; but it was another part of him, his conscious psyche, which convinced him to go along with it. That and the fact that what his brother was doing on his neck felt incredibly good.

For second time on the night, he submitted to Raphael.

Raphael couldn't bring himself to stop. The only conclusion his mind could utter was that real life was far more intoxicating that any fantasy his fever imagination ever provided him with. Right after he knocked Leo down, the red-clad turtle managed to regain some sense of control while realizing he had been about to rape his unsuspecting brother. It scared the shit out of him, and he would have left at light speed, but Leo's actions prevented it.

He was not struggling any more.

Before the younger brother rationalized its meaning, his instincts took handle of the situation and made him move forward. This was not wrong, this was natural. _Mating, bonding_, his now not so rational part provided, but he didn't care. All that mattered was he was about to claim his prize, one he had rightfully conquered under any law, human or animal. Leonardo didn't move, he didn't run but remained motionless as a rock. It wasn't important, Raph thought; he would get what was his, and that was enough.

Or so he believed.

He changed his mind when Leonardo turned his head to the left, giving him more access to the tender flesh of his neck. It could be said that worked as a punch to the gut, or a cold shower, as it gave him back the lucidity he had been lacking; but that didn't make him change his plans. In fact, it only made his determination increase, knowing that his brother was not freaking out.

However, his words of earlier made him hesitate; it could be true that Leonardo really had no idea what he was getting into.

He gave a tentative bite where his brother's neck and shoulder joined, not trying to cut the skin yet hard enough to increase the sensitivity of the soft spot; then he traced its contour with his tongue in regular circles again and again, waiting for Leo's response. He wasn't disappointed.

Leo gasped.

Leo moaned.

There he was: perfect brother, sensitive son, supportive leader, Raphael's torture and his temptation; all of this, nothing of this and beyond, utterly and completely under his younger brother's control.

That is, until Leonardo turned the tables and changed places with his brother in one quick movement, pinning him down with a knee on the stomach and a hand by the neck, hovering mere inches above the pipe. Now, _that_ was a cold shower, Raph decided, recovering enough to look at the other. However, what he found was unexpected, as Leonardo's startled face showed it had not been premeditated.

"I won," Raph said, with a tingle of reproach.

Leonardo nodded while getting up, a sheepish smile gracing his face as he offered a hand to Raphael.

"Sorry, I don't know what happened. Must be the Ninja instincts kicking in."

He let go of his brother's arm as soon as he usually would, neither lingering nor hurrying; just as if nothing unusual had happened between the two of them. _Almost happened_.

"Where are you going?" Raphael asked incredulously when his brother picked up bottle and towel, obviously preparing to leave.

"To my room," he answered, matter-of-factly. He was already at the dojo entrance.

"What? Why?" Raphael walked; he was not chasing his brother down. Not yet, anyway.

"Because," Leo looked at him, slowing his pace, "I can't stand your hammock."

"What the hell is that supposed to ..." Woa, woa, hold on to your horses. Was Leo suggesting ...? Did he just say ...?

Could it be possible that Raph had been invited to his brother's bedroom; as in, the least innocent of invitations?

_Come and show me_.

Oh I will, Leo; I swear I will.

Leonardo kept his eyes on him, making sure the true meaning of his words was acknowledged; there was no room for misunderstanding.

Raphael's smug smile was followed by Leonardo's risen eye-ridge.

"Don't expect me to go soft on you."

Leonardo laughed at that, slowly walking backwards.

"When have you ever gone soft on me, Raphael?"

"You might have a point there."

"Hey, guys! Glad to see ya!"

Were he to notice the killer gazes his brothers directed to him, Michelangelo should have run and hid. Nonetheless, he had gone directly to the TV monitors, hardly paying attention to anything else. He was comfortably cushioned on the sofa in no time, while Leonardo put his hand on Raphael's arm as to prevent the hotheaded turtle to stomp on and massacre their baby bro.

"Michelangelo, what are you doing here?" he questioned.

"Ape's telly go bum," Mikey explained, his attention on the multiple screens.

"I wonder how ..." Raphael murmured, but still launched no attack.

"And why didn't Master Splinter notify me of this?" Leonardo was now standing behind the sofa. Michelangelo graced him with a guilty smile.

"Because ... uh ... he didn't know?"

The seconds passed by, and Michelangelo could not bring himself to tear his eyes from Leonardo's. There were no complaints from him when the elder turtle picked up the remote and tossed it to Raphael. The monitors died.

"Where are you supposed to be?" was the next question.

"On ... um ... patrol? But I did it really, really fast before coming here," the orange-clad turtle said, trying to save his skin.

"Donatello ...?"

"He is at April's place, with Master Splinter. They kicked me out, bro! Donnie said I was being a nius- ... a nusian- ... that I was getting on their nerves. But it was not my fault, I was getting bored! I mean, how am I supposed to survive without a TV? You know ..."

"Mikey, that's enough." Leonardo put his hands up, either to ask for silence or in surrender; he wasn't sure. In any case, he knew that Mikey's excuse was a valid one: it was a torture to let the bouncy turtle get bored, almost as cruel as it was to obligate somebody to cope with Michelangelo in those conditions. He sighed and massaged his temples before addressing his brother again.

"Call Master Splinter and ask for forgiveness; inform him that one of us will take your place. Apologize with April, for whatever you did to her television. Tell Donnie it was not your intention to be a nuisance. And Mikey, no matter what Master Splinter's punishment to you will get, you'd better be prepared for mine."

Michelangelo dashed to the kitchen, where the telephone was.

"And if Master Splinter asks who will go?" he asked out loud.

Leonardo turned to look at Raphael. He wasn't sure about that.

"Tell him you don't know," Leo said.

Raphael's curiosity was piqued by his brother's answer. He expected Leonardo to take Michelangelo's place, with him being Mr. Responsible and all. What did he have to think about? Unless ...

"I promise I won't touch him," he supplied, low voice. Leonardo's unconvinced stare showed that the blue-clad turtle didn't believe it. "Trust me, it's only you; it has always been you."

His confession took Leonardo by surprise. Hell, it took Raphael by surprise.

"I trust you, Raph," Leo said with the smallest smile. "But I'm not sure you won't try to kill him if you two are alone."

_Oh, that_.

"I guess I'm not sure either," he had to agree.

Michelangelo's chatter could be heard all the way from the kitchen. The call will obviously keep him busy for a few more minutes; maybe they could take the risk? Raphael plopped onto the sofa, to stop himself from touching his brother. If they started anything, no matter how small, he would be way down the road in a few seconds. Unstoppable, they called it.

Leonardo leaned on the couch's back.

_So close, yet so far_.

"Go on patrol before you arrive to April's apartment," the leader suggested. "It would be better if you allow some steam out first."

"Am I getting your permission to beat some punks around?"

"Those were not my words." Yet Leo didn't tell him not to do precisely that. Instead, they turned to look at their younger brother coming out of the kitchen.

"Just for your info, the TV fiasco was not my fault."

"You can't blame a turtle for thinking it was," Raphael retorted, moving into the dojo to retrieve his sais. He smiled to himself, as Michelangelo was looking for the remote control on the wrong places while keeping an eye on Leonardo.

"Leo? What happened to your neck?"

Raph stopped dead on his tracks. Fortunately, his little brother was not looking at him; otherwise he would have noticed his flushed state.

"This? It's Raph's fault." Before Mikey was able to interrogate him, Raphael rushed to the exit. Leonardo snickered. "Our last practice; we fought, he won, I'm nursing several bruises."

"Wow! He defeated you?"

"He totally wiped the floor with my shell."

"No way! And you aren't mad at him?"

"Not really; he deserved his victory. I guess his motivation was stronger."

"And yours wasn't, huh?"

"In fact, it was. I was trying to distract him from his gloom."

"You can put a check on that; although I thought he would gloat a little more about beating Ol' Fearless Leader."

"Well, maybe we have not figured him out as thoroughly as we believed. And I can say he was happy. Sort of."

"And that makes you a happy turtle too, huh?"

"Yeah, you can say that."

"Of course I can say that! I know exactly what rocks your boat, big bro."

In their home entrance, hidden in the shadows, Raphael shook his head. _No, Mikey, you really don't know_. He moved into the tunnel, already thinking on the thugs he would take down to discharge his frustration. The last thing he heard from his brothers was Leonardo's voice.

"Keep the courtesies short, Michelangelo; I still haven't forgotten about your punishment." He said.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

Don't read if you are underage, if you can't stand male/male situations or if you think our turtles involving with each other is gruesome. You have been warned. Not really descriptive, but that's my opinion. We don't own the TMNT.

Written by **littlefurryguy **and **ghostwriter**, beta by **katt30**.

**000000 **

"You don't seem that mad anymore," Michelangelo said after a while.

He had been helping Leo clean and restore their weapons stash. _How many shuriken do we have_ and _Is it really necessary to keep each one of them sharp_ were just two of the questions his mind barely acknowledged, because there was more important … stuff … going on. Even he knew that _Where the hell did Raph hid the remote_ would not be a wise thing to ask.

"I am, Mikey. You were supposed to protect April's place while Donatello looked after Master Splinter's health." Yet he didn't sound angry but somewhat tired.

"Nothing is gonna happen there; otherwise, you would be the first one keeping watch."

Mikey knew he was right; Leo had not been overly worried about their safety.

"We can't take any risk, Michelangelo. Master Splinter, Donnie, even April; they are our family, we owe them that much."

They remained in silence after that. Michelangelo kept sharpening the weapon stars, trying to find the best approach to what he really wanted to ask.

"Are you worried about Master Splinter?" he inquired.

His brother looked at him, somewhat amused.

"Yes, I'm worried; that's my job and he's my father, after all. But you heard what Donnie said, he will be fine. It's just the cold and humidity on the sewers what has been keeping him weak for so many days."

Mikey nodded and took another shuriken. He made sure half of it was done before continuing the conversation.

"Are you worried about Raph?" and he hurried to add "'cause I'm worried about Raph. He has not been acting very … sane, lately."

Leonardo paused and took his eyes from the sheath he had been repairing.

"He's fine, Mikey; Raph just doesn't want to understand he doesn't have to face his demons alone."

Leo seemed to be trying to read Michelangelo's soul, so intense his gaze was.

"So you told Raph to stay at the lair because you were trying to make him realize that?" the younger turtle asked, unable to take his eyes from Leo's.

"I wanted to understand what was bothering him," Leo admitted before pausing and looking away. "Maybe I do now," it was barely a whisper.

"Are you mad at me?" Michelangelo's question was a whisper too.

"I already answered …" Leo started, but was cut-off by his brother.

"I mean, because I interrupted … you know … you and Raph."

In any other situation, Leo's awestruck face would probably send Michelangelo in a laughing fit, but right now he was too embarrassed for that.

"… w-what …"

"Oh, come on, Leo. I am not dumb and I am not blind. And, being Raph's brother, there's no way I could be naïve," he said, encouraged by the fact that the blue-clad turtle showed no intentions to kill him. Yet.

"How much did you … hear?" Leonardo asked, covering his face with his hands.

"Not much, I think; and it could be understood as an innocent enough conversation," Mikey declared. "But, the way he was looking at you? Well, that was pretty obvious."

Leo grunted and squeezed his eyes tighter. His next question should have taken Michelangelo by surprise, if he wasn't prepared for it.

"Then why did you interrupt us?"

Michelangelo remained silent, until Leo found the courage to look him at the eye.

"Mikey?" the older turtle asked.

"Did you plan it, Leo?"

"What? No!" he shouted, incredulously. And then, with a more controlled voice, "No, Mikey; I had nothing like this in mind."

"Well, then let me say it again," Mikey retorted. "You don't seem really mad."

Leo took some time to consider it.

"I guess I'm not," he had to agree. "Not now that I've had some time to think about it, anyway."

Mikey nodded again and looked at his hands. He had advanced nowhere in the last minutes.

"Are you gonna do it, Leo?"

_Shit_. It was not his intention to be that blunt, and the sharp intake of air from the other turtle told him his question was not welcomed.

"I don't know, Mikey," That wasn't the answer he had been hoping for.

"You don't have to."

"That's my choice to make, Michelangelo."

"No; you are gonna listen to me. I know how you think, and you are wrong," Mikey said, obviously getting angrier with each passing second. "Yes, Raphael has his demons and yes, we should help him face 'em 'cause that's what family does. But any love you might have for our brother, no matter how much, is not enough to make you do it. You don't, do you hear? you don't owe him that much."

"Michelangelo …"

"No! I - Owie!"

_Damn!_. The shuriken clinked when Michelangelo dropped it to the floor. He had forgotten it was still on his hand, consequently getting a nasty cut while on his angry ramblings.

"Are you okay?" the leader asked.

"No, I'm not! One of my brothers is going insane and the other is playing along!"

"I don't think Raph is going insane."

Leonardo tried to take the other turtle's hand, to no avail.

"Somehow I don't believe you are the best judge of sanity right now, Leo."

"Mikey, just let me look at that."

But Michelangelo ignored his brother's request, choosing instead to get as far from him as he could. He hated when Leonardo played martyr, as much as he hated when others took advantage of his brother's sense of honor and duty: Shredder, Karai, Master Splinter. Shell, even Michelangelo had been guilty of that particular sin from time in time.

But Raph … Raph had gone way across the line with this last one.

"Michelangelo, come here now!"

He wasn't really worried about getting Leonardo mad at him. If that was the only way to make him see the light, then let it be.

"Holy macaroni!" Yes, that was lame, yet the best he could say considering the circumstances. Being such circumstances a blooded shuriken suddenly sticking into the door frame, while you are crossing it. And really, really close to your left shoulder. "What the …"

"Shut up," the older turtle ordered, grabbing his wrist and forcefully taking him to some unknown destination.

Okay, now he was ready to be worried about Leonardo being mad at him.

But Leo would never do something truly bad to his baby brother, right?

Right!

Michelangelo was able to breathe again when it became clear that, indeed, he was being guided towards Donatello's lab, where the medical supplies were stored. Once inside, and without uttering a word, Leonardo made him take a seat before going to collect the required materials.

And it had to be said that, for first time on his life, Michelangelo faced first-aid treatment without making a fuss of it. Donatello would had been very proud of him, were he able to see it.

"Now you are going to listen at me," Leonardo finally said when he started with the bandage part. "First, I'm almost sure Raphael has been feeling what he does for many years now, yet he had managed to keep it on hold. That means, Mikey, that he has faced this particular demon for longer than we could ever imagine."

Michelangelo blinked at that.

"Second, he gave me many chances to get out of it. That, and the fact he didn't attack you when he had all the right for doing so, is more than enough to prove he has some control of his mental abilities. If you need a translation: no, I don't think he is insane."

A little tug to check the bandages and then he was done; however, Leo didn't let go of his hand.

"Third, you are right. There isn't enough brotherly love on earth to force anyone into doing what Raph and I were about to. And yes, you are right too on the fact that I don't owe him that much. That's why I must thank you for the care you obviously feel towards my person, as you have been trying to make sure I understand it."

Michelangelo's smile at his brother's words was the brightest one. Nonetheless, it diminished when he realized Leonardo's serious features.

"Fourth," he paused before continuing, "have you ever stopped to consider I'm doing this for myself?"

And then, after giving a soft squeeze to his brother's hand, Leonardo left the room.

**000000**

The blue-clad turtle felt his life couldn't become weirder, and that the last two days were a proof of how the entire universe conspired against his family. Things had been pretty normal till the day before yesterday, when Raphael started avoiding him … again. Their relationship already was a difficult one without having to use Donnie and Mikey as intermediaries; especially now that Master Splinter was in no condition to endure Raph's behavior problems.

Leonardo himself accepted part of the blame for their Sensei's delicate health. He knew they really haven't had a good day since he allowed anger take a hold on him, and that he was going against all the principles his father had raised them into. Still, he couldn't change his behavior; because, given the choice, he would corrupt his honor and lose the respect his family felt for him, rather than allow their enemies to take his brothers and father's lives.

But when Leo decided to, figuratively, sell his soul to the devil, he never stopped to consider how hard it would be for the old rat. Leonardo was ready to face his admonishing and disapproving words, but nothing could have prepared him for the pain he saw in his Master's eyes. That's why he agreed with Donatello's plan, accepting to send the sick Sensei to a healthier environment, in April's apartment. Not to keep him away, but because he needed time to meditate on his future actions.

Suddenly, to fight day after day after day didn't seem such a bad idea, not when compared to the possibility to lose their father.

It was then, when Raphael's odd actions made him change his plans again. His red-clad brother's behavior was in part a repetition of the one he had shown before, which basically consisted of a more aggressive conduct mostly focused against Leonardo. With Donatello's assistance, the older turtle discovered it took place around the same time every year, during a two-week period; and that Raph tended to disappear in the middle of it, leaving them all to worry for him.

Donatello thought it had something to do with leadership, as it was obvious their brother had leader material. In short, Donnie's theory said that Raphael's mind couldn't always accept the fact that he was physically stronger than the one he had to follow; therefore, for a few days each year his instincts made him fight against it. The brothers already knew that Raph was the most animal-driven among the four of them, but their conclusions gave them some peace of mind, as he appeared to understand what he was going thru.

His disappearances could then be understood as the way he preferred to cope with it, choosing to remain away during the most difficult days, instead of fighting to the death with his older brother.

Plans had been made for this year.

Then, when Master Splinter got sick and Donatello was ready to go with him, they started to notice the changes on Raphael, and it was decided that Leonardo would be doing it on his own. In essence, he needed to make his hotheaded brother acknowledge something was happening to him, and they believed the best way for it was precisely the one Raphael had been avoiding: direct confrontation.

It was Leonardo who decided that the rules must be left aside, and Donatello who insisted on taking their weapons out of it. They agreed it would take place as soon as the first signs were spotted, in order to make Raphael keep most of his rational mind. Leonardo would be forced to dance a waltz he was not used to, but it didn't worry him too much, as he had been training harder since the plan was delineated months ago; besides, he could return to Ninjitsu any given moment, were he to find his life threatened.

And, as the fight developed, it became clear he didn't need to.

Now he had to come up with a plausible explanation for Donatello, because there was no way he would be able to tell him what really happened. It had been embarrassing enough to face Michelangelo, but he could endure it if only to make his younger brother understand he was not a blushing damsel in distress, and that he didn't need to be saved from his brute brother's claws.

Far from it.

No, he had not been thrilled with Mikey's interruption, but it gave him some time to ponder. Now he had one hundred and twenty-eight reasons why he shouldn't do it, eighty-three excuses to get out of it with his shell intact and fifty-six rational explanations for his previous behavior, including the fact that he had been acting Raphael-like for a while. Not that he was giving a damn about it, as he wanted nothing more than ignore all those reasons, excuses and explanations and let nature follow its curse; or something like that.

As he previously told to Michelangelo, he was doing this for himself; he was rarely presented with the occasion to be selfish, because it usually meant his family could, somehow, be put on stake. Well, he had had enough of it. And, for some unknown reason, he didn't expect Master Splinter to take this harder than his previous conduct.

Not that he was planning on informing him of it.

Michelangelo knowing something was going on just made things harder, but his brainy brother was who really worried him. Donatello would not accept to remain in darkness forever, and sooner or later he would subject his older brother to some incredibly difficult questions. Undoubtedly, the purple-clad turtle would ask him to explain what the hell he was thinking, and Leonardo was not ready to answer that particular inquiry.

Because, since the moment Raphael had pinned him down, his mind has refused to think of _it_.

Yes, he had thought of the consequences and complications, but was never able to directly think of it. There was nothing rational on what he felt, and he understood Raphael was experiencing the same. It was not some fluffy mushy romance, that's all he knew.

Now, how do you explain that to your brother and father?

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Don't read if you are underage, if you can't stand male/male situations or if you think our turtles involving with each other is gruesome. You have been warned. Not really descriptive, but that's my opinion. We don't own the TMNT.

Written by **littlefurryguy **and **ghostwriter**, beta by **katt30**.

**000000 **

Being responsible of his family's safety for so long had given Leonardo a sixth sense. Therefore, when his shell cell rang, he already knew who was on the other side of the line.

"Leo here, talk to me," he commanded.

"Some Dragons' scum … not too many but you're invited," Raphael shouted, obviously busy.

"Are you on the streets?"

"No, I'm in the fucking circus. Of course I'm on the streets! Where else would I find these fucking punks!"

Leonardo fought the collection of retorts he would have loved to deliver. Raphael was not supposed to be on the streets at these hours, it was Donatello's turn to patrol. Not that he was happy sending them on their own, but the orders were to stay out of problems or, if that was impossible, to ask for backup. At least Raphael wasn't ignoring this last recommendation.

"What's your position?" he asked.

"Outside the big jewelry store, five blocks from April's." Some guy was crying on the background. "And don't bring the jester with you or I'll kill him too."

So the fight wasn't that desperate if they could go into it without Mikey's aid. Leo just hoped he was not doing a mistake by trusting Raphael's judgment.

"Is Donatello with you?"

Not that Leo expected an affirmative answer.

"No. Ha!" Raph was obviously having fun, wasn't he?

"Have you called him already?"

Being closer, Don would be able to help their brother while Leonardo ran to meet them.

"Who, Don? No, he needs to rest."

And how many enemies was he facing? It sounded as if there were dozens of them.

"Are you sure, Raph? It doesn't seems a wise i-"

"The hell, Leo! I need you here, now!" and then he hang up.

_Shell._

Michelangelo was on the living room watching some TV program, finally having retrieved the remote control.

"Raph's fighting some Purple Dragons," Leo explained as he passed by. "Stay here, I'll call if some extra help is needed."

Hopefully, Mikey was still too surprised to try and follow him; otherwise, he'll have to face two angry turtles.

It took Leonardo fifteen minutes to arrive at Raphael's side, his mind running scenario after scenario of what could have gone horribly wrong. What puzzled him was that his intuition wasn't pointing to _great peril_, even if Raph's voice had been full of urgency. It made no sense; Raphael was not one to ask for help unless it was absolutely necessary. And even then, most of the times he refused to.

Leo found what his strategist mind had been pointing to: up to twenty Purple Dragons laying on several states of unconsciousness, some trying to get as far from this place as they could, with or without the help of others; the scattered weaponry and debris told the tale of a larger number of them, as probably some had already run away. Meaning, less than forty inexperienced punks, young, easily scared, and not used to team work. Probably an initiation, nothing that Raphael couldn't handle.

Now, the Purple Dragons that surrounded his bother were different. They were stronger, used their weapons expertly, and had obviously just arrived, as they appeared fresh and un-bruised. That is, if you don't look at the ones resting on the pavement, thanks to Raphael's well directed blows. Their own backup, Leo thought, hurrying to block a strike directed to Raphael's shell. A new batch of enemies arrived, and soon he was immersed in the fight.

These fighters were better than the first ones, yet not a problem for the turtles. Still, Leonardo tried to take more of them on, as his brother would be probably worn-out from fighting for too long. That's why he almost panicked when he noticed Raphael was not around. He kept looking around while kicking one Dragon and knocking out the next, even if his mind was divided, he was far from losing. Yes, they were more, but even facing one turtle alone they didn't have the advantage.

Then Leonardo felt someone's eyes on him, from out of the battle field. Somehow, he knew it was not an enemy and that no harm was meant. It could only be one person, and that brought him some relief. Whirling his katanas around to temporally clear his immediate surroundings, he was able to face the general direction where this person was, before their enemies encircled him again.

_There, in the darkness, was Raph._

_What is he doing?_ Leo couldn't say, so he kept turning to the alley where he knew his brother was. Maybe he was hurt, or tired enough that he needed to take a break. Or, he could have gone there following an enemy, exposing himself to a trap. While the blue-clad ninja looked for a chance to get closer to Raphael, he suddenly was able to discern movement in the darkness where the other turtle was.

_Raph's hand, moving up and down and … oh_

It took Leo a moment to realize his brain was tricking him, showing the incident in slow motion; because Raph's hand was moving faster, and faster, till the velocity was just right.

_He is not … h-he can't be doing it, can he?_

But he was. Doing it. In a dark alley on the surface, in the middle of a battle, while his older brother fought alone against close to twenty enemies. A revelation hit Leo, showing him what Raphael might be looking at.

_… Leonardo making a spin kick on the air, striking three guys while doing so … gracefully landing after a back flip and immediately using an enemy as support to knock out two Purple Dragons … moving with flair while his twin katana seemed an extension of his own body … dodging attack after attack and seemingly unharmed while his attackers kept falling to his feet … the perfect depredator, both animal behavior and collected mind … _

Is this the way he perceives me?

He just had to jump out of the way to end the fight, as the two last thugs tried to attack him at once, only managing to hit their heads. Leo had almost forgotten about them by the time they collapsed, unconscious, to the ground. He barely paid attention to the punks that came to pick them up, but stood at a halt until he and his brother were alone.

"Nice to see you have your priorities," he dryly commented to Raphael.

He received no response, but now, getting closer to his brother, he was able to discern the sounds coming from him: the elevated breathing, the low grunting. An almost silent moan.

"Raphael, stop it," he ordered, but the red-clad turtle paid him no attention.

The hand kept pumping, faster than before, and Raph's eyes were barely open.

"Raphael, this is not the right time or place for that," he tried to reason.

What was wrong with this night that his brothers insisted on ignoring him?

"Enough!" Leo finally said, immobilizing Raph's hand and preventing him from continuing. Raphael tried to shove him aside, to no avail. He was stronger than Leonardo, but the older turtle was well skilled on pressure points and how to use them.

"Leo, let go," the younger turtle growled in a menacing tone.

When Raph understood that would not happen, he used his weight to pin Leonardo against the wall. Soon he had resumed his previous rhythm, this time pumping into both his hand as well as his brother's.

Leonardo was barely amused.

Yes, Raphael's actions were arousing him, but the police sirens could be heard even if still far away. And, were an enemy to find them in such a position, they would probably be in trouble, those of the deadly type. There was only one thing he could do.

Raphael barely had had time to register the moment when the other turtle let go his hand, so Leonardo was able to make him let go too. Nonetheless, Raph didn't complain, as his brother's hand was immediately covering him.

Startled, he opened his eyes and they stood motionless for a second, looking at each other, before Leo started moving his hand with a frantic tempo. Raphael's eyes closed tightly.

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit_

Leonardo was killing him, going so fast it hurt, yet he didn't want him to slow down.

_Please oh please_

Raphael's arms were free now, so he used them to stabilize himself against the wall, his head resting on Leonardo's shoulder. He understood he wasn't making it easy for his brother, but couldn't help himself. It was too much, too much, yet not enough.

The release seemed to last an eternity.

While recovering his breath, he tried to remember if he had yelled, screamed or even growled. The back of his head was hurting, as he had apparently banged it against the wall. He still couldn't explain how he ended on Leo's place, the same way he couldn't say how many thrusts took to make him reach climax.

The only thing he could recall was Leo's hand.

Was it the one currently on his plastron, keeping him against the alley's corner and preventing him from slipping way down to the ground? Or maybe the one holding a katana sword, while its owner searched in the darkness for an imaginary enemy?

Raph couldn't say, as both hands seemed clean enough to him. Without looking down, he could say he was rather clean, too. A little stickiness could be felt, but he usually ended in a messier state when doing this alone. And Leo … well.

He took his time to examine Leo. Because of the battle, his brother was sporting some minor cuts, and a few bruises were starting to appear. Some dirt, yes, and you could see he had been sweating, but nothing else could be found on him; certainly, not a milky-white substance.

Either Leonardo had had enough time and resources to clean them both while Raph was recovering, or his perfectionist brother managed to get them both out of the … shooting trajectory. Huh. The second, probably.

He looked up to find Leonardo examining him. When their gazes meet, Raphael noticed something on Leo's eyes; concern, perhaps. But it hastily disappeared when the police sirens were heard really close.

"Let's go," the older turtle said while getting away from his brother.

"Gimme a minute," Raphael answered, still panting.

"We don't have a minute," Leonardo pointed out. He was already by the manhole, lifting the cover.

Raphael sighed before getting away from the wall and into the sewers, closely followed by his brother.

_This is it_, Raphael thought when Leo catch up with him. He knew his brother well enough to expect a lecture; and if everything went as usual, this seemed the best moment for it. He was not wrong.

"What you did up there was stupid and dangerous, Raphael, we were lucky nothing bad came of it. How could you be so selfish? You were against all our training, letting me exposed and opening yourself to attack. What on earth were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, alright!" The hotheaded turtle yelled back. "And I'm not gonna ask for forgiveness just because I'm not always in control as you are."

They faced each other, sharing angry glares, until Leonardo looked away.

"Then what is it, Raph? What's wrong?" he asked. "We can't allow something like this to happen again."

"What's wrong, you ask?" Raphael inquired in disbelief. "In what little world do you live? You, me, that's what's wrong! I shouldn't feel this way and you shouldn't accept it! What the fuck, lets just forget it and go back to our lives."

"No."

"What?"

"I said, no."

"And I heard it; but I can't believe you, of all people, would go with it."

"I have my reasons," Leonardo declared.

"And those are …"

The older brother didn't say a word.

"Whatever," snapped Raphael, turning his back to his brother.

"Raphael, about your loss of control …"

"Yeah, yeah, we can't allow it to happen again and all that bullshit. But I do have some control," he admitted. "I knew you were able to handle them. I just … couldn't resist it."

"So you did it consciously," Leo accused.

Raphael shrugged at that.

"I had been aroused for hours, and having you there didn't help," was his retort.

"Then why did you call me?"

"Why should I give you explanations when you refuse to do the same?"

"It's different," the older brother stated, "if you put our lives in danger by doing so."

Raphael took his time to consider this. He hated to admit it, but Leonardo was right. Besides, sooner or later he would have to give some explanation, and it was better if he answered to his older brother; if only, because that meant Leo would be the one reporting to Splinter. There was no way he could face their Sensei and keep some … delicate matters aside.

"Fine; I was getting tired."

"Of the fight? Come on, Raph, I'm not buying that."

Raph flashed a cocky smile. Of course Leo wouldn't believe it; everybody knew he never got tired of fights.

"Well, it's true. I could have handled them, but would have needed Donnie's patching after that …"

"And Don would have told me," Leo acknowledged, "resulting in a reprimand because you didn't call for backup."

"I just wanted to save you the inconvenience."

Raphael wasn't surprised when the other turtle rolled his eyes.

"Sure. Anyway, we better keep going," Leonardo said, indicating the direction to follow.

"April's place is in the other direction," the turtle in red stated.

"We are going to the lair; those injuries need to be taken care."

So that's why Leo was looking at him.

"I'm fine," Raphael protested. "And Donnie is a better doctor than you are."

"You said he needs to rest. Besides, I don't want to worry April or Splinter," Leonardo explained as they walked. "And Mikey is alone. I trust Mikey, but …"

"Yeah, you worry for him," the red-clad turtle finished the sentence.

They marched in silence.

"Casey is at April's," Raphael said right before they got into the lair.

"Casey?"

"He promised to keep an eye on them while I returned," Raph added, "just in case."

Leonardo nodded at that. It was an unexpected gesture from his brother, but it gave him some peace of mind. At least, if any foe decided to attack them, Donatello would not be fighting alone. Leo knew that, even sick, Splinter was a great combatant; and April was able to defend herself to some extent. But it would be better to keep them out of any riot, if only to allow Donnie a little focus against his enemies.

"Leo, is that you?" it was their baby brother, somewhere out of sight.

"No, this is Shredder," Raphael retorted, rolling his eyes.

"You are not Shredder," Michelangelo said, coming out of the kitchen. "Holly cow, what happened to you?"

Just then, under the light, Raphael noticed the battered sight he was. He had several cuts, abrasion marks and scratches, a major wound on the left arm and a few pretty bruises here and there. Plus, some mud and blood spots all over his body, although he was sure most of the blood wasn't his. Damn punks.

"I'm fine," he said, knowing Mikey didn't believe it. "Really, you should see how they ended up."

"Mikey, can you prepare some tea for Raph?" Leo requested, leading Raphael to Donnie's lab. "We need him to calm down."

"I don't need to calm down!"

"Sure, I have the perfect stuff for him," Michelangelo grinned, before dashing to the kitchen.

"I'm perfectly fine!"

"Of course you are," Leo replied in a falsely innocent tone. "Now lay down."

Raph skeptically eyed at the small bed that Donnie kept there.

"I don't need to lie down," he managed to say before Leo tsk-ed while leaving the cart.

Okay, maybe he needed to sit for awhile, but just because he was a little tired. His brother returned with some fresh water and cloths, to find him stretched out on the bed, dozing but trying to remain alert. Leonardo smiled but said nothing. Damn Leo.

He couldn't let him have the upper hand.

"About your wrist workout of earlier," Raph said with a smug smile, moving his fist up and down, "next time use lube. It hurt."

"Who says there's going to be a next time?" Leo answered, carefully cleaning his brother's face. "And I didn't hear you complaining then."

"I was barely able to breath, and you expected me to remember how to talk?"

"It was that bad?"

"No, it was that good. I didn't know you had it in you, Fearless."

"Hm," Leo mumbled noncommittally, absorbed on his task.

Raph was expecting more than that but then, it was Mr. I-never-lose-my-cool, there. Maybe a more direct assault would do?

"Of course, it could either be you just being lucky, or the fact that you have to be perfect in everything you do," he watched as his brother cleaned the bloody gash on his arm. "It makes me wonder how much you have practiced on your own."

"Raph …" Leo admonished, clearly ordering his brother to drop the subject.

"What, am I making you blush?" the red-clad turtle taunted him. "You weren't precisely acting innocent on that alley."

"Raph, shut up; and take that hand away", the older brother said, referring to Raphael's right hand.

"Why, 'cause this is not the place? We are at home, several feet under ground, no enemies around …"

"And Mikey is here," Leo retorted. "Now, stop that before I hurt you, and this time for real."

Raphael's face was a mix of obvious disbelief and panache, with no fear whatsoever.

"You would never hurt me on purpose," he stated.

Michelangelo was slowly walking to the lab, deciding if he should go into it, when a pained yell from Raphael made him rush into the room. His usually tough brother was sitting on the bed, nursing his left arm, his eyes shooting daggers towards Leonardo and a string of curses coming from his mouth.

"It is only alcohol, Raphael," Leo said with an amused smile.

"_It's only alcohol, Raphael_", the angry turtle imitated. "You poured the entire fucking bottle on my cut!"

"And what lesson did we learn today?" the blue-clad brother murmured, his voice so low that the third turtle in the room couldn't hear it.

"Come on, Raph. Even I didn't cry when it was my turn." Mikey stated, showing his bandaged hand.

That got Raphael attention.

"What happened to you?" he questioned.

"I … uh … cutmyselfwithashuriken" the younger brother articulated incoherently.

Raphael took a moment to process it. And to notice his younger brother's flushed state.

"You cut yourself?" Then he questioned their leader. "When was the last time one of us got cut by our own weapons?"

"I wasn't paying attention, okay?" Mikey declared. "I mean, do you know how boring it is to clean and sharpen every shuriken we have? I just … forgot I had it in my hand."

"You forgot," Raph repeated with glee, his own pain neglected. "And why were you doing it? Was that your punishment?"

Michelangelo's face brightened.

"Was that my punishment?" he hopefully asked to Leonardo, who was now taking care of his brother's injuries.

"No," the other replied, "you were helping me in order to get the TV control back. I still have to talk with Splinter before deciding what your punishment would be."

Mikey pouted, but a mischievous smile appeared almost immediately.

"Oooh, Raaaaph," he sang, "Here's your teeea."

"Ah … and what's that on the plate?" the mentioned turtle tried to digress.

"This? It is dinner," Michelangelo passed it to his brother. "I thought you might be hungry."

"In fact, I am. Mac and cheese, huh? Ugh, it has peas …" he started to fish out the little green spheres.

"Hey! Leo, tell him not to throw the peas!" the orange-clad turtle pleaded while bending to pick up the ones that already were on the floor.

"Raph, that's food; somebody might want to eat them," and then, "Here, you are done."

Raphael took the peas from the younger turtle's hands, and placed them into the tea cup.

"For your information, I did an entire pot," Mikey informed with delight. "I'll get you another cup."

Raphael waited until their baby brother left the room.

"How bad was it?" he questioned, and explained at Leo's request. "Mikey's cut."

"It looked nasty, but was not a dangerous one. He refused to be treated, though."

"Stubborn brothers, the story of your life?"

"It has been a hell of a day," Leonardo admitted. "And we still have some things to talk about, but that can wait."

"Why should we wait? There's no time like the present."

"And here's your tea," Michelangelo merrily said, returning to their side. "Now, drink it."

"You have dreadful timing, klutz," Raphael snatched the cup from his brother's hand and downed it in one large swallow.

He didn't see the horrified look on the younger turtle's face, nor his relieved expression when Leonardo assured him, shaking his head, that Raph's words didn't meant what he believed.

"I-uh … I'm gonna take this," he picked up the dishes. "I'll be keeping company to the TV, okay?"

Again, they waited till Michelangelo disappeared.

"We'll talk tomorrow," Leonardo stated, leaving no room for argument. "I am going to April's. Now try to get some sleep."

There was no answer, so Leo turned off the lights and left the cart. It had never been easy to deal with Raphael, and they had just added a new level of complexity to their relationship.

_Great for us._

Michelangelo was not in the living room but in the kitchen, putting some food on a plastic container.

"Are you leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah. Try to keep things easy with Raphael, Mikey."

"I'll stay away from him, don't worry," then he handed Leonardo the container. "There you have, dinner."

"Thanks. And I think we should not say Raph that you already know, at least not for a while."

"No prob; I don't have a death wish."

_Yes, it has been a hell of a day_, Leonardo thought as he walked away from the lair, _and it hasn't already ended_. It was almost as if a superior power took delight in messing with his life, without an apparent reason for it …

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

Don't read if you are underage, if you can't stand male/male situations or if you think our turtles involving with each other is gruesome. You have been warned. Not really descriptive, but that's my opinion. BEWARE, this chapter is somewhat angsty and ... fluffy. But not kissy kissy romanticaly like. And no Raph on this chapter, either.We don't own the TMNT.

Note from **littlefurryguy**: I'm apologizing in advance for two things. First, the delay; there had been a lot going on IRL and around this story, butthis is not the place to explain all of it, so just remember I'm sorry. And second, because I'm not re-reading this before posting; **katt30** did the beta work (thanks girl!),but I don't have time to check it again right now, so any mistake is mine. And just FYI, this was written by GW in december 2005, toying with a scene we've talked about, so I'm sure going to return and take a look because I don't remember most of it.

_**ghostwriter **wants to inform you that we are still on the same day where the events of the past three chapters took place._

**00000**

Leonardo jogged to April's place, not really in a hurry to get there. Even if the leader's role prevented him from avoiding his family, it didn't change the fact that he still wasn't ready to face Splinter and Donatello. Many thoughts conspired to keep him on the streets longer than needed, and although not all of them revolved around Raphael, it didn't surprise him to notice that the recent events had perfectly integrated to the already existing mess. After all, his life had proved to be a tangled web, and every single incident just made it harder to even breathe.

Just … _shell_.

Sometimes, Leonardo wished he haven't had, and didn't still have, such an active role in creating the mud pit where he was trapped. It was not like him to avoid responsibility, but it would be so sweet to put the blame on someone else, or even on the circumstances. Yes, he had had some help, forces that pushed or pulled him on the wrong directions; but in the end it had always been his choice.

_Wrong_ was such a relative concept.

There were occasions when he didn't realize the enormity of what he had done until several days, or even years, had passed. But there also were those times when he acted knowing exactly where he was getting into. The _lesser evil_ ideal should be sparsely used, he had decided some time ago; otherwise he might become something akin to Saki, a creature that corrupted whatever he touched just to reach his goals.

The ninja leader might have been dragging some personal demons around, but he had been honorable enough to keep them his, and his only.

It just had become so hard, lately.

Glancing to the left he finally found what he had been waiting for: a shadow, running on the buildings' roofs at the other side of the street, all ninja stealth. They ran for a while, not in competition but keeping each other company, before he stopped to a halt.

Turning to face his counterpart, Leonardo bowed and the ninja mimicked in response. Their eyes locked for a second before the figure in black ran back the path they had followed. The turtle warrior waited until the shadow disappeared, and then a little more, before leaving his spot.

Now he was ready to return to his family.

**00000**

Sometimes, being able to gather a situation at first glance was more a curse than a gift.

_Well_, Leonardo thought, _this is one of those times._

He was on the fire staircase outside of April's window, looking at the moon and pondering his next move. The scene that he had found was not a welcomed one, and it took him completely by surprise. Sure, Casey had agreed with keeping an eye for them while Raphael was on patrol; but the human surely didn't believe they expected him to keep that eye entirely on April.

It was true, too, that it was her apartment and she had the right to do whatever she wanted in there. But Leonardo's father was currently sleeping in said department, and the fact that April and Casey were at the living room instead of her bedroom could be seen as lack of respect towards the sick rat.

And even if Splinter's condition were to prevent him from finding out what was happening mere meters from his bed, Donatello certainly had not such impediments. It even was possible that he already knew what was going on between their human friends.

_Great_.

Leonardo really didn't need more bad news, and knowing that April had returned to Casey's side was an unwelcome notice. She was an adult woman and Donnie wasn't acting upon his feelings, but that didn't meant they wouldn't be hurt by the fact that she was again the girlfriend of Raph's best friend.

Making a decision, he tapped the glass lightly and stood on the fire staircase, waiting while thoughtfully scanning the alley from his post. Some rushing movements were heard before April came to open the window.

"Leo! Come in; Donnie and Master Splinter are sleeping."

Was he imagining things, or April looked truly relived by his interruption? _Interesting_, he decided.

"Thanks, April," he formally acknowledged. "I apologize for any inconvenience we have caused to you on these last days."

"Oh no, there's no need. Master Splinter means a lot to me, too."

They shared a comforting moment. Only then did Leo face the other person on the living room.

"Casey," he said, in his most cold voice.

"Leo. Sooo … now that you are here, I guess they are well protected, there's no need for me to stay, they are okay, everything is okay and look how late it is, April, you should be in bed, I mean sleeping, after all you have to get up early tomorrow, or today 'cause look at the hour, it's already morning, heh, time flies when you are having fun they say, and … hum … okay, that's all, I'm leaving."

April shook her head, but didn't appear puzzled by Casey's behavior. She followed him on a slower pace, just pausing to talk with Leonardo one more time.

"Why don't you make some tea, Leo? I'll be back in a minute," the woman proposed.

"Sure," Leonardo agreed, even if April was not in the room anymore.

Once in the kitchen, Leo started the well known routine: take the tea pot out, _check_; fill it with water, _check_; turn on the stove and put the water to boil, _check_. Then he got two mugs ready, one with a chamomile tea bag for April and the other with green tea for him. The tea leaves' stash was a little treasure their female friend insisted in him to use, even when he usually didn't.

Those leaves were from a well reputed oriental tea house, not only expensive but also extremely hard to get. He had not been able to make April explain how she got a hold on the package, but it surely hadn't been for free. But it was not the price that made him feel a little uncomfortable when making for use of such a gift. No, it was the love and dedication that she had showed remembering its mention in a passing conversation and then, surely, searching all over the city in order to buy it. Leonardo didn't feel as if he deserved it.

"Leo? What are you doing here?"

There, at the kitchen's entrance, was Donatello sans bandana and looking extremely groggy.

"I'm taking Raph's place," Leonardo explained, getting a third mug out.

"First Mikey, then Raph and now you? That's three switches in just one evening. If this is a new tactic to confuse the enemy, we can confirm it is working with me."

Donatello yawned, sitting at the table, and Leonardo could feel the tiredness radiating from his brother. The genius turtle had been the one spending more time by Splinter's bed; even if he had assured the rest of the family that his Sensei's illness was completely innocuous, he had devoted himself to watch after their father day and night. And even when he was replaced at Splinter's side, it was in order to work on one more test at his laboratory. All this was obviously taking a toll on him.

"You should be in bed, Don."

"I was in bed. Just, when I got up to check on Splinter, I heard your voice. Got to know what was going on," he added with a tired grin.

Yes, they all hated to be left in the dark, but with Donatello it was like an affront against his intelligence. Nonetheless, it was too late and he appeared too tired to try and explain him some of the events that took place the past hours.

"Go back to sleep, Donnie. We'll talk tomorrow."

Donatello hesitated at that. Leonardo understood that his brother wanted to make a question before leaving, and he already knew which one it was.

"The plan with Raph … it worked, didn't it? I mean, when he came here he appeared more collected."

"Did he?" Leonardo said, without real curiosity on his voice.

Looking for something to do in order to avoid looking directly at his brother, Leo placed the plastic container into the fridge while retrieving the milk carton from it. Then he took a smaller pot, poured some milk and put it on the stove, replacing the bigger one.

"Well, mostly. He fought some Purple Dragons on his way here, or so he said; but the calm I found in him couldn't be pointed to tiredness. It was more … I don't know … deep? And he also appeared somewhat thrilled. I'm afraid I can't explain that, neither."

"Can't you?"

Leonardo's mind was racing. He was relieved that Donatello hadn't figured out anything yet, as it would give him at least one more night to prepare. But, on the other hand, it made him worry a bit. They had talked about Raphael's behavior for days; therefore, the fact that Donatello didn't have even a half backed theory was unexpected. He probably was more tired than they believed.

"No. The way he acted? It was amusing; he was almost Mikey-like. You know, bouncy. Happy, if you wish. And then he was unable to remain in one place, he kept walking to and fro until I couldn't prevent myself from yelling at him …"

"Déjà vu?"

Donatello rolled his eyes while accepting the warm milk that his brother was handing him. Leonardo knew it was due to the short sentences repertory he had been using so far, but he couldn't bring himself to participate more in this particular part of the conversation. Don smiled, catching the meaning of his brother's words.

"Yeah, kind of. In fact, I shouted 'Michelangelo!' before recalling it was Raphael. Anyway, he then offered to take my patrol shift, saying I was stressed and needed some rest."

"And you accepted."

"I … uh … yeah. He was right, you know? I was practically falling sleep on my feet."

Leonardo frowned disapprovingly at that.

"Well, at least you _were_ sleeping when I arrived. But the idea behind maintaining the patrol shifts while you and Mikey were staying at April's was to keep both your minds clear. It's not healthy to remain locked for long, Donnie; some fresh air is always welcomed."

"Hey, I know, okay? But frankly, Raph needed it much more than I did. By the way, where is he?"

The turtle with the blue bandana made a pause to sip his tea before answering.

"Raph's at the lair. He stopped a robbery, but had to fight too many Dragons. Again. He is fine, just a bit tired."

"Oh." Donatello looked at his brother, evidently waiting for a more detailed explanation. When he got none, he chose to make another question. "What did you put into the fridge?"

Leonardo raised an eye ridge, not expecting the turn on the conversation. He took the container out and passed it to his brother.

"Dinner: Mikey's version of Macaroni and cheese."

"Do you mind if I …?"

"No, dig in." He offered the younger turtle a fork. "But I must warn you …"

"Ugh, it has peas."

"… about that." It was Leonardo's turn to roll his eyes, while Donatello eyed the aforementioned peas as if they were a particularly gross lab specimen. "What do you all have against them?"

"Nothing, _persé_; just … rational people don't mix peas with Macaroni and cheese."

"I like it that way."

Donatello received his brother's grumble with a smirk, and his eyes shone with an all-knowing light that made Leo fear.

"Yeah, I know. Thus, I can say Mikey cooked this especially for you. Why did he do that? He's so conspicuously begging for your forgiveness?"

Leonardo remained silent for a while before answering.

"He left to the lair without informing you of it."

Donatello's gaze almost bore a hole on his brother. He was obviously letting Leonardo suffer, for he took an absurdly large amount of time before making his next declaration.

"And you needed a pause to remember that because …"

Leonardo looked out of the kitchen's window. He wasn't expecting that, but Donnie was right: Mikey's actions were transparent enough for everybody to figure out something was going on.

"Not now, Donnie. We'll talk once we've rested."

The purple clad turtle looked at him intently before nodding. Then, having done with his beverage, he placed the empty mug on the sink. The half empty container went back to the fridge.

"That's for April?" he questioned, referring to the third mug.

It was Leo's turn to nod. "She's at the door, saying goodbye to Casey," he informed.

"Casey is here?"

So, Donatello hadn't heard April and Casey's encounter in the living room? If Leonardo had been almost positive about that before, Donnie's reaction to the news just confirmed this notion.

"He was. Didn't you notice?"

"No, not really; I've been sleeping since Raph offered to take my patrol shift, just briefly waking up now and then to check Splinter."

Leonardo wondered how long has been that; he should remember to interrogate Raphael later. But right now, his brother's words made him remember the main motive of their permanence on April's apartment.

"How's Splinter?" he inquired.

"He is getting better. I'm sure he will be getting out of the bed tomorrow. The only reason he has been sleeping this much is because of the medicine."

They remained in silence while Leonardo absorbed the news. He was relieved by hearing his brother's diagnostic, but there was another subject to address. It was probably a bad idea to interfere on Donnie's private life, but if what he thought was true, he might be of some help.

"April is taking her time," he casually declared.

Donatello frowned, considering his words. "Do you think something happened?"

"What, an attack?" Leonardo almost innocently said, all the time knowing that was what his brother was referring to. "Well, Casey's with her, he knows how to fight."

"Yeah, but he might not be able to protect her."

Leonardo almost smiled at his brother's declaration. Yes, it was true, but it also could be considered as a tad chauvinistically, especially if related to a woman as independent as April. And even more if you considerate the fact that she was right at her department door, not at a dangerous street in the middle of the night.

"She is not precisely defenseless, you know. And she can call me if the need arises."

"You?" Donnie's voice had a tingle of jealousy, but it was almost imperceptible.

"She knows I'm up," Leo explained. "Maybe we should inform her that you are available?"

Donatello blinked, confused, and Leonardo could perfectly see the storm his words had started on his brother's mind. Donnie was obviously getting the second meanings on it, but also refusing to accept his brother's advice for what it truly was. Well, it was more than enough for one night.

"Go to bed, Don. We'll talk tomorrow," the older brother ordered.

"Tomorrow. Sure." And with those words, Donnie retired to the bedroom he shared with their Sensei.

Leonardo took another sip of his drink before talking again.

"Your tea is getting cold," he advised.

The sound of a sharp intake of air confirmed what he already knew. A mortified April walked into the room.

"This is your kitchen, April; you should get in whenever you need to," he pushed a chair on her direction and motioned her to sit.

"Eh … thanks for not telling I was there," she finally was able to utter, still embarrassed.

"I thought you wanted to be excluded of the conversation."

She blushed.

"Well, yes. I mean, it was a brother to brother talk, and that all."

He smiled, and handled her cup of tea. The female human fidgeted with the spoon but did not drink from it, lost in her thoughts.

"About earlier, did you see …?" she said after a while. "I mean, Casey and me …"

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Leo replied with a straight face.

It was her turn to smile. She took his hand between her own.

"Leo, you are nothing but a gentleman. Or a gentle-turtle, as Mikey would probably say."

_Far from it_, he thought, but remained silent. She was shivering, even if it was warm into the kitchen. He gently tugged her hand.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm just … confused, I don't know …"

He didn't believe it. No, he did believe it; she was confused, it was easily palpable. But that was not the main reason of her worry. Now, if certain information Raph had shared with him some months ago was true, he might have an idea of what April was going thru.

"April?" he gently called, and waited until having her complete attention. "You know we care for you, right? That we consider you part of the family?"

She smiled, but it was a sad smile.

"Sure," she acknowledged. "I guess we are."

"We?" Leo questioned, already deducting who she was talking about.

"Casey and me, of course."

He shook his head.

"Casey is a great person," Leo admitted and she looked clearly uncomfortable, "and Raph's best friend. But you are much more, April; you are our sister." She was about to reply when he continued. "And you know what I think of those who hurt my family."

She paled at his declaration. They remained silent, Leonardo waiting for his words to sink in, and April was obviously looking for the best approach to voice her concerns.

"I … I don't want to bring problems into your family, Leo," was said in a whisper.

"_Our _family, April. And let me tell you something about it," he started, his gaze directed to the kitchen's window one more time. "About a year ago, Raphael saw something that made him mad. Yes, I know that's not a strange occurrence," he smiled, "but it was worst than ever. He saw a man beating a woman, not really hard, but it still was beating."

"He … questioned … the man, who said it had been an accident and would not happen again. Well, Raphael trusted the man's word, yet he decided to follow the couple now and then. What he discovered …" Leonardo made a pause, still not looking at April, "what he discovered was a collection of little bits: yelling, cursing, pushing. Separately they were nothing; together it was, to put it plainly, abuse. Yes, nothing as dramatic as some stories we all have heard, but still …"

The turtle looked at his hand, and allowed his grip to loosen. Then he turned his head towards his friend, and looked her directly in the eye.

"Raphael will be by your side, April. The only reason they are still friends is because Casey was honorable enough to act civil when you dumped him. And, as I already declared, we still believe he is a great person; but he has some problems neither you nor any other woman should have to cope with."

April didn't cry, he had to give her credit for that; yet she was shaken.

"What if it is my fault?" she asked. "And no, I am not blaming myself for the past. I-I mean … tonight, and for a while, I've been giving him some hope."

Leonardo frowned; relationships were never easy affairs, and he certainly was aware of it.

"We can't tell you what to do, April; if you love him, it is your choice. But as soon as he starts hurting you …" and there he stopped, as she shook the head. "No what?"

"I don't love Casey. It just … it is easier with him." Her explanation was followed by a sad and hurting laugh. "Why is my life so twisted? Why has love to be this complicated?"

"I have no answer for that," Leonardo dryly declared, after a long enough pause. To him, April's life was a roses' garden, but he understood it was not the moment to say it out loud. First, because most of her problems existed due to the fact that she was their friend; and second, because Leo understood he couldn't say the words without making them sound resented.

After all, he _was_ resented, but it wasn't April's fault.

She was looking at him, suddenly realizing her mistake. There was pity on the woman's eyes, and that was something Leonardo had never liked. It took all his internal strength not to direct on her all the hatred that had been eating him from the inside.

"Don't," he admonished, his empathic tone of earlier forgotten.

He usually stayed away from other people's romantic issues; otherwise, they could believe that gave them the right to reciprocate, even if Leonardo didn't have a romantic life at all. Not in a long, long time, at least; but his family seemed determinate to not let him forget.

He should have never interfered. It has been his mistake, first with Donnie and now with April, but those two had been getting on his nerves. They were making a storm in a glass of water, when there was not a real obstacle on their way. Only nature, religion and ethics, and that depended on your particular point of view. Raphael never had a problem with that.

"I should be in bed," April suddenly said, startling Leonardo.

She was letting him free, and for that he was grateful. He decided to play along and act as if the awkward moment didn't happen.

"You are leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, those are the plans. I just hope this story does not end being a complete bluff."

Leonardo nodded. April had been working day and night on an unknown report. She had not told them what it was about, saying they would find it boring. They only knew she had to leave the city for a week, in order to get in contact with one source or another. There was no reason to believe she would be in danger, so they allowed her the privacy she wanted.

As much as he worried for her, Leo considered it just payment, considering that they had been getting into almost every part of her life (and apartment) lately. She was a grown up woman, one whose cleverness and nerve he admired. And even if he believed that she depended too much on them from time in time, they couldn't be declared innocent of the same sin.

"Oyasuminasai, ottoto."

Leonardo turned to look at April, who had just returned from her bedroom and was placing pillows and blankets on the couch. He understood what she said, of course he did, but it had been so long since the last time Donnie, Raph or Mikey had called him _brother_ that the word took him by surprise.

Ottoto; that was a term he used, not one he received. As the older one he had always been their oniisan, but he was younger than April, so it made sense. Besides, he had to recognize he liked how it sounded, even if her pronunciation wasn't perfect.

"Oyasuminasai, oneesan," he murmured when she got close enough to hug him and kiss his cheek. Donnie would _kill_ to be on his place.

Then April retired to her room and Leo was alone again. Pondering about how much time he spent alone was something that could be done, but he was too drained, both physically and mentally, to even dedicate a second thought to the subject. The blue wielding turtle just wanted to lie down and forget, thankful that his nights were mostly dreamless. He will probably never enjoy the delights of Mickey's most delectable dreams, but apparently that also saved him from experiencing his younger brother's lung-tearing nightmares.

Leonardo took off his weapons, pads, bandana and belt, wondering what his brothers were doing at their home before deciding he didn't care. There were more important matters to face on his current location. Queasy and a little embarrassed he eyed the couch, wondering what April would think were she to find him sleeping on the floor the next morning.

_TBC_

**00000**

_Oyasuminasai_ – Good night / _Oneesan_ – Elder sister / _Oniisan_ – Elder brother / _Imooto_ – Younger sister / _Ottoto_ – Younger brother


	5. Chapter 5

_Long p__arts in italics (this excluded) are flashbacks._

**00000**

"Leo?"

Leonardo woke up, startled, after what felt like a really short nap. Glancing at the wall clock he noticed that, in fact, it had been extremely short. It was early in the morning, dark enough for the moon to still be seen, as he noticed in the patch of sky visible through the window.

"April? Are you leaving?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

The woman didn't look nervous or worried anymore, but she appeared extremely tired. There was a small suitcase by her feet, and she was dressed on street clothes, coat and all.

"Yes, the cameraman is already waiting for me. I've filled up Donatello with an endless list of instructions, but, just in case …" she handed him a small notebook, "… I wrote it all here. And a few other things I forgot the first time. There's my phone number, just in the top, and the place where I'll be staying. If you need anything, _anything_, just call me, okay? There's money in the small box at the fridge's top, and yes, you have to use it or I'll feel offended. The neighbors already know somebody will be living here while I'm not, watering the plants and looking after my place, so they shouldn't be a problem. Now, the keys … I'm sure I had the keys right here …"

Leonardo waited for a moment, but when it was obvious she was too worried and dazed to achieve anything, he intervened.

"April, we'll be fine. You need to leave."

"Yes, but the keys …"

"Do you have them on you?" He paused while she looked in her many pockets. "No? Then we'll find them. Otherwise, I'm sure Donnie can provide us with another copy. And don't worry; we can take care of ourselves."

After a moment of internal debate, April finally nodded and gave up with a nervous chuckle.

"I know. I'm simply worried because Splinter is sick, and Donatello is overtaxing himself, and you and Raph and Mikey keep moving between your place and mine. And I know you, Leo. I know that when you're here you can't stop worrying about your brothers, and when you're with them it is your father you keep thinking of." She smiled sheepishly before continuing. "I just wish you were all together, if only to simplify things a bit."

Leonardo nodded. "I agree. Now that Splinter is almost cured, we might return to the lair."

She shook her head, obviously regretting her previous statement.

"Leo, please; don't take my words as an indication that I want you out of my apartment."

"I do not. But it will be better for him to be back at home." Leo already suspected what was in their friend's mind, so he tried to ease her fears. "I'll tell Donnie to update you on Splinter's condition before moving out, all right?"

With a sigh, she gave up. "Okay. I just …" she was interrupted by a honk, apparently from the man waiting for her. "See you later, then. And take care of yourself."

"Sure. Have a nice trip."

Mumbling something that sounded to Leonardo like _not bloody likely to occur_, April ran from one room to the next, gathering some last minute items. Finally, while reaching the door, she turned to face him just in time to catch the end of a yawn.

"Go back to sleep, Leo," she ordered, smiling.

"I will," he voiced, even if he had already decided to wait five more minutes before starting an early meditation session.

**00000**

"Leonardo."

Leonardo's eyes opened with a startle. He had drifted back to sleep without noticing. Even drowsy, it had been immediately obvious to him whom that voice belonged to.

"Sensei, you should be resting."

"_You_ should be resting, my son; I'm feeling much better. Maybe you should take my bed."

"No, that's … I'm fine." He could feel his mind getting clearer by the second. "What time is it? And where is Donnie?"

"Your brother is still sleeping; we'll let him get some more rest before waking him up. And, according to Miss O'Neill's clock, it is a little around ten in the morning."

Surprised by the news, Leonardo soon found that, indeed, it was way past his usual waking up hour. In fact, the living room was completely illuminated. It was unusual for him to sleep with so much light, but the last day had been a taxing one. Suddenly, he remembered exactly what had happened with Raphael, which made him feel extremely uncomfortable in front of his Sensei.

_Shell_.

"Is something worrying you, my son?"

_Double shell_.

Why did he have to be so transparent to the old rat's eyes? But the truth was that it had it never bothered Leonardo before, until the last month's events … and this detail made him think that maybe, just maybe, he had certain bits of information that needed to be shared.

"In fact, there is something I would like to discuss, Sensei," he declared.

Splinter looked at him more than a little surprised, which was to be expected, considering how closed Leonardo had lately been. Once again, the turtle was ashamed for his recent behavior towards his father.

"Maybe we should talk during breakfast," Splinter suggested.

Leonardo nodded and they moved to the kitchen. He took special care on keeping an eye on the guest's room door, making sure that Donatello wasn't around to hear a word. And even if he had a knot in the stomach that would prevent him from downing any food, Splinter needed the nutriments during his recovery. The concentration required for him to fix their meals would also give the turtle something to occupy his mind and hands, concealing the expected pauses' awkwardness.

Furthermore, explaining himself while sitting at the kitchen's table, rather than on their familiar 'master-student serious talk' positions, would allow Leonardo to cover any other topic instead, were he to find himself unable to make this confidence.

In the end, that excuse wasn't needed.

**00000**

Splinter wasn't directly looking at his student. The rat could say that his son's decision to speak was a difficult one, so he was ready to wait all the time needed. Sighing, he was aware once again of his own old age, reflected not only on his treacherous body, but also on his more frequent emotional slips.

It surprised him how much his son's coldness had hurt, how deep his silences had stung; but to witness Leonardo's pain when confronted by his Sensei harsh words, even if the glimpse lasted less than a second …

It was all Splinter needed to acknowledge he had crossed a line.

All of the turtles had heard the word 'disappointed' from his mouth, more times that he would have liked; yet he had never before allowed the true extent of his feelings to show, as they usually receded when explanations were given.

His students, his_ sons_, were always trying to do their best, each one in his own unique manner. This was particularly evident with Leonardo.

Maybe that was why he wasn't expecting for his older son to openly defy him. Maybe that was why he allowed Leonardo to see the true extent of his surprise and disillusionment. No, that day Splinter hadn't been ready to understand that there probably was a very good reason for his oldest student's behavior. It wasn't like Leonardo to trip with the same stone more than once.

Now, almost a month later, Splinter understood … but it was perhaps too late. Whatever the reasons his son had had, they were now tinted with guiltiness and inner struggle. He just hoped Leonardo's reasons were to be given because it was the time for doing so, and not just to reduce the existing gap between the two of them.

After all, it was expected for leaders to take difficult decisions, which usually were not only hard to explain, but sometimes almost impossible to understand. Leonardo's place in their group had been made clear several years ago, and it probably was the time to stop interfering with him, especially as they couldn't say how long Splinter would remain by their side.

"Three weeks ago something happened, something that I should have informed you," Leonardo said when the pot started bubbling on the stove. "However, I was sure certain members of our family would not share my point of view. That's why I decided to keep it a secret until this moment." He looked up for a moment before returning his attention to their meal. "Now there's only one path we can follow, the one I've chosen, even if you disagree."

Noticing his son's approach, Splinter understood that Leonardo was referring not only to him, his father, but at least to one of his brothers as well, if not all of them.

"A wise leader is always open to advice," the old rat recited, pausing for effect, "yet is by no means obligated to follow it. In the end, he's the one who will make the final decision, as he's the one who will accept the final responsibility."

Leonardo nodded; it was a line he had heard from his Sensei more than once.

"I can be wrong on this, I know I can," the turtle continued. "But considering the events, to keep you in the dark was the only way to make this work."

They remained mute while the younger ninja filled two bowls with steaming chicken soup. Knowing that the next move was his, Splinter made the question.

"Which events are those you are referring to, my son?"

_The day had __developed like any other, until he met Saki's daughter. To be honest, Leonardo had more than once thought about his chances of facing Karai again, arriving to the conclusion that it was best for the two of them if it didn't ever happen. Unfortunately, things rarely were the way they should be._

_The four of them had been on patrol, and the rain didn't help ma__ke things easier. He considered suggesting his brothers to stay a little longer in order to get some extra training, not that they would be thrilled about it. But finally deciding against it, he sent them home with the promise to catch with them in half hour._

_He had seen a familiar shadow, one he would better face alone._

"_I still can't surprise you."_

_Karai's voice sounded alien to him. It wasn't only the years she had been away, but also some repressed feelings she had never shown before__; at least not in front of him._

"_What do you want, Karai?"_

_He had no intention to exchange pleasantries with her; in fact, he preferred not to talk with her at all. But she would probably not be bothering him for other than a very good reason. Especially considering that she should be in Japan, at her husband's side._

"_Right to the business, then. I need your help," she declared. Motioning him to remain quiet, she turned to face the horizon, right in the Foot building's direction. "I need to get in there, and retrieve something that Saki took from me."_

"_What?" Leonardo asked, noticing she didn't refer to Shredder as her father this time._

"_My son."_

"Her son?" Master Splinter asked, stunned. It really wasn't a surprise the fact that Saki's daughter had a son; after all, she had been married for several years, now. But why would Saki kidnap his own grandson? Unless …

"He wants the kid to be his heir," Leonardo declared, voicing his Sensei's conclusions. "According to Karai, he took her son by force after she refused to hand the child."

Splinter understood the concern in his older son's voice; to protect the innocent was the honorable thing to do. Still, he wasn't happy with Saki's daughter turning towards them for help.

"What about the father?" he questioned, when a breath-taking idea suddenly hit him. He wasn't sure how intimate Leonardo and Karai had been. Maybe that was the reason behind the woman's sudden departure and abrupt marriage. Maybe Saki was after the child because of who his real father was. Certainly, Shedder had declared his admiration towards Leonardo's warrior skills more than once.

The turtle's composed face made his Sensei's heart calm down. Either the child wasn't his, or Saki's daughter had tricked him into believing it wasn't his. Splinter decided that the woman had no reason to lie and too much to lose.

"His hands are tied … both here and in Japan," Leonardo explained, looking at his still full bowl. "Saki agreed to marry Karai with the heir of an old and important clan, one that controls most part of Japan's underground activities. What he never forecasted was that Karai's husband would renounce to his position right after their son was born."

Splinter nodded slowly, taking in the news.

"Then, Saki's plans were fooled."

Leonardo's shrug was almost imperceptible, but clear to the older one's eyes.

"Those of having immediate control over both clans were. However, even if Karai's husband is no longer the future leader, there are great chances for her son to eventually become it."

_Husband_. _Son_. Those words sounded sour in the blue-wielding turtle's voice, and Splinter had not to wonder why. He had hoped time would cure Leonardo's wounds, but a few years were obviously not enough.

"Did Karai desert him?"

Splinter watched as Leonardo stirred the soup clockwise once, twice, thrice, without taking the spoon to his mouth.

"Her father? Yes, so I believe. Her husband?" Another lengthy pause. Those noodles were going nowhere this day. "From what she says, he's as much of a good man as anybody in his position could be, and he cares deeply for their son. Unfortunately, by stepping down he also gave up all the power he ever had. There's no way for him to get his family support in this, and survive."

"So he left her alone." Splinter's voice held certain exasperation. He never really understood why so many humans said they cared about one thing or the other, just to run away once the first difficulties appeared.

"No he didn't." It was said with more force than needed, as if the turtle had a problem with acknowledging the fact. "I think that the key word in my last statement is 'survive'. The truth is, the Yakuza isn't pleased with Saki's actions, but they can't break the pact nor even directly disagree with Shredder. Therefore, they accepted Karai's husband proposition: they will help her to get the child back …"

Dumbfounded, Splinter finished his son's statement, "… and he'll pay with his life." _Maybe this man is a good one after all_, he thought, internally acknowledging the fact that his death would make Karai a widow, a free woman again. "Why does she need our help, then?"

"She doesn't."

Surprised, the ninja master watched as his older son retrieved both bowls, then stored his in the refrigerator before rinsing the empty one. No other word was uttered until the turtle faced him again, choosing to lean against the kitchen's counter instead of sitting at the table.

"Their plan was to attack both the Foot and this Yakuza's branch in New York, making it look as the work of a third, mutual and unidentified enemy."

"That would only achieve for them to join forces," noted the rat, trying to decipher the purpose of such a move.

"Only at the beginning; eventually, certain clues were to make clear that both groups were in fact attacking each other. With some external help, doubts were be erased, finally evolving into a full range war … and giving Karai the chance to retrieve her son."

"In the middle of the chaos she helped creating." Splinter didn't know what to say; his son was talking about starting a confrontation that couldn't help but involve the whole city. "How many innocents is she … _are you_ … willing to sacrifice for this one child?"

Leonardo didn't seem moved by his abrupt words. "This one child is the only innocent involved, Sensei," he offered. The calm in the turtle's voice told his master that not all had been explained.

"You said this Japanese clan couldn't openly defy Saki," he stated, trying to understand what was left to say. "How does Karai know they won't betray her? A single word falling in the wrong ears …"

"They won't, because they don't know. Only a few were informed of this, and they are all in Japan. Once the real reason behind this subterfuge becomes obvious, the Yakuza will 'discover' the father was the instigator, and his head will be sent to Saki with an apology. Of course, the fact that the Shredder started this by kidnapping the clan's heir allows them to play victim."

That last part ringed a bell on Splinter's mind.

"They are going to acknowledge the child, then."

"As their heir, yes; there's no other suitable candidate, and it would calm most of the clan's internal struggle."

The rat couldn't help but to feel bitter resentment. Karai was saving his son from one evil master just to hand him to a different group of puppeteers. No matter what, this young soul seemed to be destined to a rotten future.

"I fail to see this as a preferable alternative, my son," he declared.

Leonardo nodded minutely, clearly accepting his father's words. Still, he tried to defend his choice. "At least this way he will have his mother at his side."

Silence.

"I don't think that will make much good to the child."

Splinter watched as his son's usually stoical face showed a range of emotions before settling in tiredness. He hadn't expect for the turtle to calmly accept this declaration, as Leonardo had always acknowledged Karai's strong sense of honor despite all her faults, which to his older son could be resumed in one major cause: Saki.

Therefore, Leonardo's murmur was almost unnoticed.

"I know."

Stunned, the old rat took several minutes to mull over what had been said. He eventually returned to the one question his son hadn't answered, and soon the answer became obvious: Leonardo was not being part of this plan because of the child's wellbeing. He was understandingly worried about the innocent boy, but that was not what made him partake with Karai's schema.

"Leonardo?"

The gaze that landed on him was a cold one. Some time while they were talking, the leader's arms had moved from his sides and were now crossed over his plastron. Everything in him, from the stiff posture to the chilling emptiness in his eyes, talked about the internal struggle he had obviously experienced those past weeks. One that despite making him look this sick and tired had only made his determination stronger.

Whatever his reasons, his actions and choices, they would have to back him on it. Otherwise, there would be no way to save not only their family, but Leonardo himself.

"Shredder blamed us, for the murders." _Murders?_ "Karai expected that, and she also knew we would try to clean our name. She came to me in order to stop us from interfering."

"That's all she asked from you, to keep us in darkness?"

Of course she wouldn't.

"No." Of course she didn't. "We've scheduled some attacks for them to coincide with our patrols. I've made sure that my brothers and I are visible every time we are out, while a target is being hit at other part of the city. And every time I've gone out alone these past weeks …"

"You have been helping Karai," Master Splinter concluded. _All those daylight excursions …_. And whenever his sons went to the surface, the older one had been willingly exposing them to danger.

Leonardo did that minute shrug again.

"I have not been seen, and I have not been using my usual _modus operandi_. It is impossible for Shredder to link those attacks to us."

"How many people has died?" the rat asked once he recovered his ability to speak. "How many from your own hand?"

Leonardo kept his eyes on his Master's for a moment before looking away. Whatever guiltiness all that blood in his hands had caused, it was there no more.

"There is no need for you to know."

Beep-beep-beep-beep

Surprised, both of them turned to look at April's phone. To Splinter, such innocuous sound seemed out of place after what had been exposed, but Leonardo soon recovered enough to dash in its direction.

Beep-bee--

"Raphael?"

That brought a small smile to Splinter's face. It was good to know that some things remained the same, even if the world seemed to have turned inside out; and it was even better to know that Leonardo's connection to his brothers was one of those things.

"Leo, why the hell did you turn your fucking shell cell off? I've been trying to call you the past fucking hour before remembering Ape's fucking phone!"

Raphael's voice sounded angry and worried on the speaker, but if Splinter's paternal instinct had anything to say, whatever reason he had to call was not a live-or-die subject. Not immediately, at least.

"Language, Raphael."

An awkward pause followed.

"Master Splinter?"

"And Leonardo," the older turtle added while retrieving his cell from under the couch, and clicking his tongue. It had run out of battery, possibly, Splinter surmised. "What is it, Raphael?"

"Is … uh … is Donnie okay?"

_Donnie?_ Splinter shared a worried glance with his older son before the turtle ran in his brother's room direction.

"We haven't seen him yet; he is still sleeping," the Sensei explained to the son that waited at the other side of the line. "Leonardo just left to check him. Is there a reason for your concern?"

"Well … ah … yes, indeed there is. You'll see, he was … uh … acting weird yesterday, but I thought he was just, you know, tired and … uh … stuff … because he hasn't been sleeping a lot lately and all that, not that I'm blaming you, Sensei, but … um …"

"Raphael," the rat admonished. As amusing as it was to hear his hotheaded son stutter for not known cause, he needed to be informed.

"Yes. The thing is that Mikey has been acting the same way, and there's no reason for him to be that tired, so I thought …"

"Mikey too?" The turtles' teacher looked up to find Leonardo's concerned face. His son nodded before continuing. "Don is sick, I couldn't wake him up. He has fever, I'm not sure how high, but it obviously is the same thing that got Splinter down."

The three of them shared a worried silence.

"Shit. I … uh … sorry, Sensei."

"Apology accepted, my son, even if I believe your imprecation does in fact resume the situation quite well." He made a pause in order to allow Leonardo's eye ridge to arch. "I fear you will have to take care of your brother on your own, for now. Donatello's state will not permit us to move him, and as much as I would like to send Leonardo with you, I must admit I'm still not strong enough to take care of your sick brother."

"I wouldn't leave even if you ordered me to, Sensei," the turtle in blue declared. "Raph, I have no intention to let Splinter get ill again, so I'll try to keep him away from Donnie. Do you think you can handle Mikey?"

"You kidding? He's just been dragging his feet around and sleeping everywhere he can. I'll just have to lock him in his room and we'll be done."

"Raphael …"

"Yeah, yeah, Fearless, I'll take care of him. I just don't want to catch this bug."

"Unfortunately, all we can do is to hope your brothers recover their health before the two of you get unwell, my sons," Splinter stated, aware that the protest he heard over the phone was just for the sake of his tough son's image. "Do you remember Donatello's treatment, Raphael?"

"Uh … liquids and rest, that tea you give us every time we get the flu, and those yellow round pills April got for you. Donnie left a bottle in his lab, I already checked, but I'm not sure how to use them. And fresh wet clothes in his forehead if he develops high fever. Can I use the big thermometer on him?"

The ninja master internally chuckled while the son at his side frantically searched for something in a notebook.

"Here it is, April left instructions," he said. "Raphael, you need to give him one pill every eight hours for five days. That means you still have to take today's, Sensei. April says it can be dissolved on tea or juice, but it will give the beverage a bitter taste, so you might want to add some honey."

"… tea … honey … got it. Should I start now, or do I better wait to see if he is really sick?"

"I sincerely doubt your brother is deceiving us on this, Raphael."

"All right, gee, I was just asking. Don't want to poison the klutz, that's all. And I'll better go check him; there's too much silence around."

"We count on you, my son. Take care of yourself, too."

"I will. Tell Donnie he has to get well soon and find a cure before baby bro's bugs jump on me."

"We'll transmit him your good wishes, Raphael." The rat softly shook his head. Why couldn't his son just admit he worried for his brothers?

"Raph?"

Something in Leonardo's voice made the Sensei's ears stand in attention. He looked back, but his older son's attention never left the device.

"Yeah, Leo?" came after a pause.

Again, a certain quality in the short question made the old Master's ears twitch. Although he realized that more than words were being exchanged between his sons, he couldn't understand what was not being said.

"Good luck."

Leonardo wasn't worried for his brother's wellbeing; not more than usual, anyway … but there was something between uncertain and hard-edged in the way he had spoken, something that made Splinter feel like a stranger between his own family.

"G' luck to you too."

And Raphael. He sounded almost shy, if such a description ever fitted his second son.

Click

What were his older sons hiding?

"Leonardo?"

His son's eyes never turned in his direction. Instead, he walked to the guest's room, where his sick brother rested.

"I'll better check on Donatello and retrieve your medicine, Sensei. Do you think you can manage some tea?"

Whatever it was, it would not be acknowledged this day. Too many revelations had already been made, and the aged ninja wasn't sure he could handle much more.

"I think I can, my son," he said, and Leonardo's sharp nod was the only response he received.

He waited until the bedroom's door got closed before moving to the kitchen.


End file.
